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Consequences proceeded by empathy build personal responsibility. ‌

Those familiar with Love and Logic hear a great deal about empathy and know that sincere empathy characterizes our approach. In fact, it’s the hub around which our entire approach revolves. In the home or classroom (in person or remote), whenever we precede consequences with a sincere dose of compassion and concern, we increase the odds that the child will view their poor decision as the “bad guy” while continuing to perceive us as the “good guy.”

Consequences provided with anger result in resentment.

Consequences proceeded by empathy build personal responsibility.

Empathy is about a sincere desire to understand another’s feelings.
It is not a flippant, “I know how you feel” or “I’m so sorry.”

Empathy is an honest message of caring.
It is not about manipulating or instilling guilt.

Empathy is about maintaining emotional boundaries while showing concern.
It is not about making the other person’s problem our own.

Empathy is about modeling confidence and strength.
It is not about demonstrating weakness.

Empathy is about forgiving others as well as forgiving ourselves.
It is not about trying to be perfect.

For some more parenting tips, check out this amazing video with Love and Logic facilitator Kelly Borden, and Amen Clinics Founder and world renowned neuropsychiatrist, Dr. Daniel Amen.

The Love and Logic Team