- Step back, and if possible, even remove yourself when you feel the stress pressure cooker is about to blow! Breathe and refocus, calm down and ask yourself:
- what battle am I fighting here?
- is this a heaven or hell issue?
- is this worth the energy I’m throwing at it?
- to quote one of our preschoolers, probably quoting his Mom, “is someone going to die here? “
- If you are not managing your stress well it is better to remove yourself from a situation than do something you will later regret, especially if it has the potential to be physically or emotionally harmful to a child, or another person.
- Decide what you are choosing: under these already stressful circumstances that you can’t control decide what you can control.
- Understand that the only person you can control is yourself and there are no buts! You can’t control what happens to you, but you can always control your response to it – is it going to be a thoughtful and prayer-filled response, or a thoughtless, unbridled reaction.
- Is your response going to be one made by a powerful person who takes responsibility for their thoughts and actions from the secure place of a healthy God-given identity , or one a victim would make?
What is the fruit of your response going to be – peace or disconnection / conflict / hurt
- Make sure that you are looking after you i.e. are you exercising, eating well, getting good sleep, taking breaks, prioritising and pursuing connection over ticking boxes, getting some you time (time on your own without the children) like:
- a candlelit bubble bath while your husband puts the children to bed
- reading a book
- doing something you enjoy like knitting, painting, colouring in.
- Activities like these build our resilience and can help us manage stress and cope with it in a healthy way.
- It’s ok to not be ok – it’s ok to ask for help! If you are not coping and the stress is becoming overwhelming, it is in everyone’s best interests to chat to a friend or seek professional help. There are numerous tele-counsellors who are available to guide you. You are welcome to phone or private message me – I would be more than wiling to help where I can.
- Celebrate progress not perfection!
- Have fun with each other – it’s ok to abandon work and the “normal” routine for a picnic in the garden, a fun game, a swim, a story in the treehouse, not bathing tonight, sleeping in the fort, stories in the tree house… this refreshes and revives you.
- My personal stress relief is finding a quiet place and reading my bible or listening to worship music. Nothing de-stresses like worshipping!
As a friend of mine recently blogged – “aim for sane”!
Remember I’m here if you need me!