After last month’s eye opening realisation that our children are far more capable than we give them credit for, let’s wrap up with how to use good questions as good tools to empower our children and get them to grow, and let’s embrace risk and failure as part of learning to be a responsible adult.
Good Questions are Good Tools
As teachers, it is our privilege and responsibility to empower our children to build their own solutions and grow. One good question is worth a thousand answers. Try asking questions like, “Why do you think they said that?”, “What would help you?”, “Who could you ask that might know?”, “How did that make you feel?”, “What do you think will happen if you try that?”
Children can answer questions for themselves, we mustn’t take over, as tempting as it is – engage your self-control!
In Win-Win Parenting (p64) Seth Dahl says “If you take over and solve all their problems, you tip the seesaw in your direction with you doing everything, which can lead to apathy, a lack of creativity, and helplessness. Hold their hand, ask if they need ideas, but let them sort problems out on their own. This will look very different depending on the age of the child, but even a two- year-old can sort out age-appropriate problems.”
Risk and Failure Encouraged
By encouraging our children to try things, to take chances, and to risk trying what they think is scary, prepares them for real life. We are there so they feel safe enough to try, and eventually, our hope is that they will do it confidently without us.
“Whether it’s teaching them to swim or allowing them to climb a tree slightly higher than we are comfortable with, it’s our job as parents to stretch our children so they can grow.” Win-Win Parenting (p69)
Children learn through failure – and it isn’t fatal. Sometimes we act like it’s the end of the world, but it really isn’t.
As parents we often value cleanliness, order and control over learning to try, failing and trying again and again until our children eventually succeed. But this is our ethos at Little Heroes, we celebrate progress with your child!
We want freedom to show up in our Little Heroes environment, and it is our heart that it shows up in your homes and in your family too, and that the seeds we sow here would bloom and grow in whatever environment your children find themselves.
As we are intentional about these things, we hope that they are things that you as parents can begin to be more intentional about at home, in your parenting.
Our hope is that you would make a good choice and pursue freedom in your family and swim upstream and raise powerful children who will become powerful adults.
By Barbara Cooper – Principal
Many of these thoughts and ideas are based on materials by Danny and Sheri Silk and Brittney Serpell (www.lovingonpurpose.com), and Lauren and Seth Dahl (www.sethdahl.com). Please refer to their websites for further resources.